Marilyn Monroe once said: “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.” 

Abuimama, my last name, is a Bantu word from the African nation of Cameroon. It means “a lot of things”. Indeed, I was a woman with many resources, able to overcome whatever difficulties I encountered. I am the oldest of my siblings, so I had to be an example in terms of behaviour and academic achievement. I worked very hard. After several years of challenging experiences—at school and in my personal life—I became a physician. 

I loved being able to help people and put smiles on their faces. Everything pointed toward a bright future. However, my new goal at this time was to move to Canada to live with the man I loved. I know that I am too passionate sometimes, but I was ready to face any obstacles to be with him. When I opened my computer one morning in June 2016 and saw an email confirming my permanent residency in Canada, my joy was indescribable. I started dancing. I called my husband immediately to share the news. We were so excited. My body was in Cameroon, but my mind was in Canada. 

After one month, I was ready to go with a travel companion—I was seven months pregnant. I was exhausted from the pregnancy but felt confident that I had all the wisdom I needed to travel from the known to unknown. When I arrived at the airport, I was totally serene, walking in my stylish high heels and looking forward to the journey. Summer, 2016: Oh, Canada, here I am! I was so excited to discover this new world. But as the months went by, I had some worries that were growing steadily in my mind. I had left everything behind for my husband, and now he seemed like a stranger. There were lies, betrayals, and verbal violence. I was totally dependent on someone who made me believe I was a person without any value. I fell into a deep depression.

 By the time I separated from my husband, I had two young sons and no job. Although their births were the happiest experiences in my life so far, having children in a new country without the support of family can be difficult, especially after two C-sections. I felt completely isolated, especially in the harshness of winter, and I was ashamed of being so weak. I also felt that I was disappearing as a person. That confident woman wearing high heels and working as a respected professional was gone. I didn’t recognize myself. 

Fortunately, I met an unforgettable Canadian woman who supported me, encouraged me, and most importantly, reminded me about the resources and qualities I had as a person. Furthermore, the kindness of my children and their pride in their mother gave me the boost I needed to stand tall. I was an example for my siblings during my childhood, and I knew I could be an example for my children as well. I finally felt ready to conquer this country. 

One day, I went to a shoe store with my boys because my oldest wanted new shoes. But after a few minutes of shopping, he brought a pair of runners to me and said “Mommy, these would be cute on you.” 

I loved the black and pink shoes; they were practical, but beautiful. I felt like I was buying new clothing for the beginning of the school year. Looking at my reflection in the shoe store mirror, I said to myself, “Christiane Abuimama is coming back.”