My shoes are very elegant, made of late evening gray and beautiful matte black leather. A tiny ribbon charm on the front makes me stand strong as a professional working woman.  The straps around my ankles hold my heels comfortably and securely like a cocoon.

I worked at a tour company as a VIP customer representative in Tokyo, Japan, for four years.  At this time, this pair of shoes was my work buddy. I wore these shoes most days in my office and when I visited my customers. That’s why this pair has scuffs and wrinkles, showing how much they were loved. In 2007, I moved to Canada, directly to the Bow Valley, to live with my husband. Then right after I came here, I gave birth to two beautiful daughters.

Although I brought my favourite work buddies here, I have never found the opportunity to wear them. As a busy mother of two active daughters, when would I? There was no reason to keep them in my shoe closet, and therefore I kept them in the basement storage. Ironically, at the same time, I stored them, I was longing to be back in working society like the days when I was in Japan.

For the last eleven years, my role has been that of a mother and a wife more than myself. It has been very rewarding.  However, my longing to have a career remained strong inside me. This past year, when my youngest daughter began Grade 1, I knew the time had finally come to create a new identity for myself in the Bow Valley.

My career throughout my life has been in customer service. I love to make people happy and assist them in reaching their goals.  Inspired by my work experience in Japan, I began to plan how I could contribute to the community. First, I had to update my communication and language skills. There are many resources I could reach easily to update these. I squeezed myself into these opportunities as much as I possibly could in my tight schedule.  I joined a community conversation class, took online courses for English and learned communication skills from the local college as well as volunteered at my daughters’ classrooms.

Although I could feel my inner confidence building after these experiences, it took time before I felt ready to step into the office-work world. I knew that if I didn’t move forward, nothing would change. Someone said, “Fake it till you make it.” Therefore, I pretended I was ready and told myself this. After a few tries and fails, the thought became true. I have been working as an optometric assistant since this May.

At last, I got back to the world that I had been longing to be a part of. Finally, I got the chance to wear my pair of shoes, my work buddy, again. How proud I felt when I slipped them on again at work!  

However, I gave up wearing my shoes after I wore them only one time. My buddy was not a good fit anymore.  I thought they might fit me again like before if I kept wearing them, but I have different feelings now. Today’s me is not the one I was in Japan. I’m not clinging to the past anymore. Today’s me is made up of many aspects: a mother, a wife, and a woman in society.  I am not going to look back again, only forward. Even if I don’t wear my work buddy like before, I will keep them a part of my life history.